Many of you may wonder about my history (briefly mentioned in my "About Me" section). So, I'll start from the beginning (well, the love story beginning).
First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage
My husband and I met at work. I was a student administrative assistant and he was a Fitness Consultant. I had a love for salsa dancing and would go every weekend, and he had an interest in learning. We started to practice after work and meet up on the weekends. I never "liked" him in the romantic way, and I didn't feel he liked me either, but we began to spend more and more together with every passing week. Many rumors were flying around the workplace regarding our relationship.
One summer evening, we were discussing the workplace gossip. My husband (then friend) said to me, "since everyone is talking about us being boyfriend and girlfriend, we might as well make it official, right?!" And everything else is history. We were engaged 8 months late and married 4 months after that.
Then Comes the Baby in a Baby Carriage
After only 2 months of marriage we had our first positive pregnancy test. I was due July 5th. We were so excited that we rushed down to our parents' houses to share the joy. The thing I remember most from that night was telling my father-in-law, who was (and still is) notorious for spreading around "news" too quickly, to keep this a secret and not tell ANYONE yet...we wanted to make the phone calls. Of course, it was too late, and before we could finish our request, he had composed an email and copied everyone on his contact list and sent it off. Too much excitement for one to keep to themselves!
We had long contemplated baby names and were convinced we were having a girl despite the fact that we hadn't had an ultrasound yet. Since we were so certain, we named "her" Xyliana. Much to our surprise, our ultrasound appointment proved otherwise...we were having a boy! He was so perfect - round head, chubby belly, cute little button nose - all of which we could see perfectly on the printed copy of our ultrasound - and 5 minutes after our appointment ended we decided to name him "Nico."
Baby's First Year
Nico was born on 3 weeks early on June 13, 2006. Throughout his first year of life, I went to school and worked. I finished the term I was in and then decided to pursue a full-time job. I was hired on and then became a full-time working mother. My mother was generous enough to watch him while I worked, and although we felt it was the best decision for our family at the time, it was hard to carry out as we felt judged by many. And guilty. Some days I would drive to work in tears because I felt so looked down upon and it seemed to me that no one understood why I chose to work instead of stay home. I always felt that one should not have to justify their reasonings for choices they make regarding their child rearing. I will say that we did what we had to do at that moment...and as many know, life changes from moment to moment - nothing lasts forever.
We celebrated my son's first birthday in true "first child" fashion - a big bash at the park with many family and friends. It was only a month after that I discovered I was pregnant with my second baby. It's funny how your body changes so drastically - I had gained 6 lbs so quickly despite my frequent workouts and attempts at healthy eating. I thought I might have had one too many Easy Mac-N-Cheese packets! I worked throughout the pregancy and decided that after I had the baby I would only return part-time. Xyliana was born prematurely in Februrary of 2008. She was healthy and the labor was "easy" and we were now a family of 4. I returned to work part-time and I had amazing benefits that allowed me to spread out my paid maternity leave and FMLA time over the course of a few months. At that time, we had also looked into the possibility of opening our own business. We took a leap of faith, I quit my job after my leave ran out (baby was 3 months old) and we now had two children 2 and under, and a new business under our belts. Sigh, I am exhausted just remebering that moment in time...and that's just the beginning!
A Stressful Year
We opened a retail boutique in August of 2008 (my oldest was 2, and the baby was 6 months). I worked there full time and would take the children to work with me. My husband started a new career from scratch in December of 2008, and 2 days into his career training, the unthinkable happened in our family - my mother had a stroke. To sum it up, in a 6 month time span we both had taken on new lower paying jobs, opened a new business, had 2 children under 2, and were dealing with an ill parent. I almost forgot to mention (well, I wouldn't ever forget - perhaps just out of order) we got pregnant again with our 3rd child right before Thanksgiving. At 6 weeks gestation, we lost the child and were devastated. That holiday season was cold and glum. My mother's stroke caused her to loose her ability to swallow, and she had to have a feeding tube inserted in her stomach so that she could "eat." She has since fully regained her ability to swallow, but still struggles with lack of energy, breathing difficulties, and pain. We enjoy her and the lives around us as much as we can...we have learned (more than once, as you will discover ) how precious life is and that we must never forget our days our numbered. You never know what will happen tomorrow.
Number 3
That year past so quickly, and before we knew it, our little store had been open for 11 months. We had relocated and things were just starting to take off. However, it would only be 1 more month before the arrival of number 3. I was still working at the store full-time and we were training others to help while I was on maternity leave. 10 days before I delivered, we made the final decision (after much deliberation) to close the store. The oldest had just turned 3, the baby was 19 months, and I was due anyday (September 2009). Being a stay-at-home mom of 3 was going to be overwhelming enough without the additional stress of running the business, so we reluctantly sacrified our beautiful store and did what was best for the family.
Officially a Stay-At-Home Mom
And that's when I became an honest-to-goodness stay at home mom. To tell you the truth, I don't remember how hard it was when number 3 (Ava) was born. I remember my sister coming to help in the middle of the night while my husband was working. I remember having two in diapers and struggling to potty train the middle child so I could be relieved of some wiping duties. And I remembering venturing out to the pumpking patch, state fair, balloon fiesta, and mountains that fall and enjoying the beauty of New Mexico. Another year had come and gone, and Ava celebrated her 1st birthday. 3 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant again!
Positive Again
I cried hysterically when I saw the pregancy test give a positive reading nearly instantly. No wonder I was feeling so horrible. And how in the world was I going to manage 4 children, all 20 months apart?! My husband was beamingly happy as he always is when I am pregnant. He loves babies and has always talked of having 5. But 4 was overwhelming enough - I couldn't fathom the possiblity of having 5. And then there is that whole "life throws you curves" saying...and man that ball came flying at us from out of no where!
We didn't tell anyone we were pregnant for 10 weeks. We were trying to wait to surprise people until Christmas (it was October) and we figured that was enough time for us (or should I say me) to get over the shock. I hadn't yet confirmed my first appointment when I started having signs of miscarriage yet again. We stayed home all day just waiting and praying the symptoms would subside - but they were only getting worse. That evening I was getting ready to go to the hospital when my mom coincidentally stopped by. I answered the door with my face full of tears. I was scared. Imagine the shock my mother must have felt when I told her I thought I was miscarrying yet she didn't even know I was pregnant! She drove me to the hospital and my husband stayed with the kids. It was a long evening of testing and waiting.
After all of the usual procedures (urine tests, blood draws, etc.) were complete, the last order of business was an ultrasound. I was exhaused both physically and emotionally, and waiting was all we could do at that point. My mother and sister were hungry and they left the hospital to go get dinner (and bring me a bite to eat as well) and asked if I'd be okay. I said yes, and I knew I would be okay because I knew the ultrasound would show one of two things: a healthy heartbeat or no heartbeat. While they were gone, the technician came to take me down the hall the radiology department. She wheeled me into a dark room and lay me on a table where a single, dim yet blinding light shone down right in eyes. She started her exam, and I lay there staring at the light with a knot in my stomach. I could hear the machine click everytime she took a picture of the baby, and she clicked what seemed like one hundred times. I asked her what she saw, and she replied, "I'm sorry, I can't tell you anything - the doctor has to interpret the results and read them to you." I was so devastated - this was to be the moment of relief or utter disappointment, and it was going to be delayed?! I sighed deeply, and told her, "You know, I've been so upset all day about this...could you please at least tell me if there is a heartbeat?" Silence. Hesitation. Poker face. After what seemed like 20 minutes (in reality, probably 2 minutes), she turned to me and said, "Ok, I am going to show you the screen right now, but don't tell the doctor I did this, okay?!" "Okay," I nervously replied, "I won't." You must now image the rest of this scene in slow motion, because that is prety much the way I remember it! I was alone in the room with the technician. As I sat up on the table, the technician turned the screen to my field of view. She didn't even have to describe the image to me beforehand to interpret what was going on - it was clear as day. "That's Baby A...and that is Baby B...congratulations, your going to have twins, and they look perfectly healthy!" I was flabbergasted and could not believe it at all. My eyes filled with tears and I started saying "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Can I go call my husband?!" I stepped out of the room and dialed trying to quickly think how the heck I was going to tell him! We have no history of twins in our families so this was a completely unexpected surprise.
He answered quietly, "Hello?"
"Hi, it's me," my voice was quivering. "They ran all of the tests, and the last thing was the ultrasound - I just got done. She wasn't supposed to tell me anything, but she did, and I wanted to let you know the baby is fine."
Sigh of relief. "Oh, that's great!"
"And so is the other baby!"
"WHAT????!!!! There is more than one baby??!! NO! You're kidding? Twins?!!"
"Yes, twins!"
I was released from the hospital shortly after that and arrived home to a mini celebration. Although I wanted to wait to tell the rest of our family in person, my husband was much to excited and called everyone immediately (must be genetic ;O)). His mother cried, I cried, I think we all cried (mostly tears of joy...mine not so much!). The shock would not wear off for weeks - no, months - but there was no going back! The twins were coming, the pregnancy was on full force, and the next few months would be unpredictable!
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